So last night Lia, JP, & I went to go watch Wicked!! When we arrived at Pantages, I swear I just felt like I was there the day before; then again, I WAS just there 3 and a half weeks ago, haha. This time I made sure I wore a thick jacket because last time I was dying b/c their air conditioner is always on BLAST. I was thankful I came prepared this time. Our seats were really good; we had Orchestra Left Center, Row T...I forgot what our seats were haha but we were in the middle somewhat. I actually had a clearer view of the stage than last time. Although were were slightly to the left, I could see the faces and costumes a whole lot more in detail. It was nice. The only problem I had was sitting next to a challenged person because all he said throughout the entire show was, "somethingsomethingblahblahblah fuck yeah!" Yup. The entiiiire time. Poor guy. I mean, he was all leaning on me too so I kinda had to lean towards Lia throughout the whole performance. The mom apologized if her son was of any disturbance, but I told her, "Oh no no no, it's no problem; I totally understand." Anyways, about the show, it was a different Glinda this time, played by Emily Rozek (who is Elphaba's stand-by). She was hilaaaarious. I think she was funnier than the first Glinda I saw because she was soooooooo cute! HAHA. So ditzy and blonde. Haha.







And Teal Wicks! Aw man, she was really sick. I could tell. When she sang "The Wizard and I" she cracked when she was singing the end line with "the wizard....and I--" she had to cut it off. I felt bad for her! Because when she sang "Defying Gravity," she put her entire HEART into perfecting the song, which she did. I teared up again this time, and I had that smile on my face again. Haha. But during intermission, there was an announcement that, "Due to Teal Wick's illness, blahblahblah will be playing Elphaba for the 2nd portion of the show." I don't remember her name, but she was also amazing as well. Very very good performance. I loved it, like always, but during the 2nd half, all I could seriously think about was fooooooood. food food and food. I was starving :[

We went to McD's somewhere in Studio City since I wanted to take JP & Lia back to the train station where their car was. I felt so relieved but so sick once I started driving back home. Haha. But overall, I was thankful I felt a whole lot better last night to go see the performance. It was breathtaking, like last time! :] Except I wish Teal Wicks performed the whole thing. I love her. I'm looking forward to taking Janelle next month! HOPEFULLY! haha. And Lia & I are already planning to go see Phantom of the Opera since she got another discount code. Lucky me, haha. :] I know JP wants to see it; Mark as well. I can't wait!

While Mark & I were driving on the 405 going towards the valley, we saw a car in front of us that read "HONK if you say NO on PROP 8!" on their back windshield so we honked like 100x. "Gay" is just a label; it doesn't make you non-human. Religion is such a big issue in America, but when it comes to the fundamental rights of every individual person, these things shouldn't be fought against. Straight, gay, whatever it is, we should all be able to share the same interests, do the same things we do in our everyday lives such as shop, eat, sleep, and what's the difference when it comes to marriage? Things change. People aren't slaves anymore; technology has advanced; divorce is completely legal and condoms are sold EVERYWHERE although both go against certain Christian values. Sure, the bible says this and that about what marriage really is "supposed" to be, but you really have to think deep down about what's RIGHT. So please, if you're thinking of voting yes, please think twice. We are all equal.

Peace&love.

Hello everyone. Hope you all had a good weekend?

Saturday was pretty fun; Mark & I had lunch at Jollibee (mm, spaghetti & fries) around 3pm then we headed for the valley. We picked Shehan up; had some pretty funny conversations about crazy people who take religion up the ass and try to convert other people. But that's a different story so I'll stay off that subject haha. Anyways, we met with Jeanillie, Joe, & Teresa around 8ish at the AMF bowling alley in Chatsworth. Gosh, I totally forgot how expensive bowling can be so we all just decided to play one game. I wasn't surprised of Mark's determination to be the winner haha because Teresa was ahead of the game, but he was too damn sure of himself. It came true. Haha. After the game, we all grabbed some McD's and headed to Joe's house. I miss playing Rock Band sooooo much! HAHA. Mark really needs to get his XBOX fixed already, damnit. And playing the Wii was so much fun. We really need to get ourselves one of those. haha. Omg! And their dogs are so adorable, but Dante (aka Happy's twin) was the only one who would play with us. Haha. So cuuuute! I seriously wish him and Happy would trade places for.....forever. HAHA. I'm kidding. Everyone knows that Happy & I have that love/hate relationship. That little ass.

Yesterday I didn't do much. I felt sick all day so I stayed home & tried to figure out our plans for San Francisco. My only highlights of the night were the ramen & the conversation I had with GF at like 12 in the morning. Haha.

It's been good to be able to go out especially after what happened with Margaux. I miss her so much. I bought a memorial frame with a paw and "Forever in our hearts" above it and a picture next to it. There are some times when I think about it too much, I tear up. But I understand the situation and continue to remind myself that life goes on and she's being my little protection dog in spirit (:

Today all I did was figure out more plans for our San Francisco agenda. We're supposed to go on November 13-16, but something important has just come up, so I'm not quite sure what's gonna happen. Maybe I'll share that news later.

Anyways, hope everyone has a goodnight. Peace <3

Yesterday, TN, Rwang, & I went to Santee Alley to find some things we ended up never finding or buying. I don't know what it was with me, but I wasn't in the mood somehow. I was sluggish, hungry, hot, tired. It was only barely 2pm, and I hadn't done anything in the last week or so because of what was happening with Margaux. I just didn't want to go anywhere because of how crappy I felt. But I decided to go to get my mind wandering off somewhere else. Since we couldn't find anything at the alley, we drove towards Hollywood & had lunch @ CPK on Sunset. Carne Asada pizza..yum. I wanted to get my usually avocado eggrolls, but I didn't wanna spend too much money on stuff I'm not even gonna finish. I bought the pizza cuz I knew at least if I brought it home, Mark would eat most of it.

After we finished lunch, Jeanillie & Joe met up with us. We decided to go to Melrose to check out the new American Apparel store. I was so tempted to buy Mark a pair of neon pink briefs, but I decided that I didn't feel like spending $12 on ONE piece of underwear. Haha. But yeah, the store was nice. So many things I wanted, but I didn't feel like spending since I'm trying to save my money. Then we went to Urban Outfitters & I found the leather jacket that I wanted. I'm really pissed about it because I held it in my hands and I kept thinking to myself, "Should I get it? Should I get it?" but I guess I felt it wasn't worth it. BUT I STILL WANT IT. It's so freakin' cute! I'm pissed. HAHA.

We were all a little burnt out from the heat & driving so shortly after U.O., we all headed out. TN & Rwang went their own way, and GF & Joe took me home. We went to have Korean BBQ with Arnie, Leslie, Fern, & Paul, but like I was in Thai town, I didn't have much of an appetite. I didn't want to eat. I've been feeling sick lately, and my appetite just hasn't been normal. After dinner, we all decided to go to Yogurtland, but there was this huge checkpoint right in front of it. FUCKKKKK THAT. So we went back home towards Torrance & decided to get McFlurry's @ McD's. YUM. When we got home, we just relaxed, had a lil sesh, looked at some old pictures, and laughed. Haha. Good stuff.

Today Mark & I are going to the valley to hang out with GF & Joe again..probably gonna go bowling since it's Jeanillie's last weekend before she starts school at Concorde. It should be fun.

There are still those moments when I stop & realize that my puppy isn't around anymore ): I get really sad, and I'll tear up for a minute or two. But like I always tell myself, she's okay now. Ily Margaux <3

To everyone who messaged me showing your condolences towards Margaux. I am doing better due to the fact that I know she is in a better place now. Thanks again everybody, I appreciate it.

I've been able to keep myself busy by watching a lot of Heroes. I don't know about you guys, but this show is seriously addicting. I love it. Screw you Claire Bennett, Peter Petrelli is mine. Also, if it wasn't for Mark, I'd be all kinds of fucked up right now. He's been there to talk to me, helping me recover from the mess I've been dealing with for the past couple of days. He's a lifesaver; I needed someone to hug while I let it all out. My boyfriend is seriously the best.

I asked Mark (for my Christmas present) for us to go on our trip to San Francisco, sometime next month while he's on his lil break from school. I'm really excited. I've been going through a lot, and my head is just constantly bombarded with thoughts that just need to stay out for a while. I need to get away for a couple days. San Francisco will be extremely fun. I've already begun setting my agenda for the trip.

I found this video I posted on my myspace. I totally forgot I posted it up on there, but I had to post it here too because it's just so funny. Bonnie tries so hard (even 'til this day) to play with Happy, but all he does is give that bratty face and tries to snap at her. Funny.

Bonnie and Happy

It's been rough these past couple of days, but it's become worse now that Margaux isn't feeling well. Mark & I drove to Palmdale on Saturday night (also brought Bonnie to drop her off) so I could check up on Margaux. She is all bones; you can clearly see her ribs. A month ago when we last saw her, she had meat on her, which was good considering the fact that she's pretty thin overall for a German Shepherd. But on Saturday night when Mark & I went to our little isolation pen in the backyard where Margaux was staying, she wasn't herself. She was wagging her tail, happy to see us, but she wasn't super hyper or barky like she usually is. Usually, she'd beg for us to open up the fence to let her out and play with the other dogs, but when I opened it, she just walked out all nonchalant. It saddened me. Usually she chases after Bonnie's neck and does that little growling sound because she loves to annoy her, but she just stood upright, barely moved, and when she walked, she'd go isolate herself. When my brother fed her the next morning, I went to check if she ate; she only ate a teaspoon. She would constantly drink water and when I let them out on the grass, she'd eat a little bit of the grass. It was annoying that it was Sunday yesterday because I really wanted to take her to the vet ASAP. She hasn't had any bowel movements or throw up recently; all she would do is go in her dog house & lay there.

This morning I called the Quartz Hills Veterinary Hospital to see if they had any room to allow me to bring Margaux in for a check-up. By 9:30am, Margaux & I arrived at the vet's office, and she got weighed in. She's 52lb, 10lb less of what she was when she would stay with me at my last job. She looked so depressed; she'd just stand up and stare at the ground. Totally not herself. Usually she'd be so happy to be with her momma, but this morning it's like she was about to give up. The doctor asked us what had been happening; I told her all I knew: threw up a couple days ago, won't poop, hasn't eaten for a few days now (only very little, once a day), constantly drinks water, very depressed, has no energy. The veterinarian told me that they'd have to run a bunch of tests on her so she would have to board overnight. The receptionist showed me a piece of paper that stated the estimate of the bill. I was just in shock. It's about $650-750. For all that stuff. I started telling myself how big of a rip-off this place was (it's probably because it's one of the few veterinary offices in Palmdale so they have more expensive services), but I know I couldn't hold off on getting Margaux treated any longer. I want her to get help ASAP. I really wish I could take her back to Lomita with me, but it looks like I'll have to stay here in Palmdale for a couple of days to keep an eye on her.

This afternoon the veterinarian called me back to give me an update on Margaux. She said she's still feeling really down and that the xrays are showing signs of blockage in the intestines. They tried giving her medication, but it hasn't passed through so she's still not in the mood for anything. The doctor also mentioned that her pancreatic enzyme levels are high so depending on how Margaux is in the morning, they'll have to decide whether she'd have to go through surgery or not. This is so hard on me. I just can't believe how much Margaux is going through right now. And the money is hard for me right now, but this is a sacrifice I have to take. My dogs mean the world to me. Nothing will stop me from making sure they have the best care possible.

Throughout the entire day, I've been dealing with people giving me a hard time about Margaux's illness. My dad was ridiculously angry at me when I told him how much the bill cost, saying that I'm wasting my money on a dog rather than caring about myself. Sorry, but that's just not me. I will always put my dogs in front of me. Then I called the old lady (whose dog I walk) just to let her know that I probably won't be back home for a couple of days. She started talking about how I should just let Margaux be put to sleep and "from the way it seems, it really looks like you can't afford this right now." Um, lady, just because you're a fucking rich old hag doesn't mean you have the right to judge me and say rude things to me. I'm not her fucking grandchild or daughter or relative, period. She also mentioned how "dogs don't have souls because it's not indicated in the bible. So they're not going to heaven anyway." WHAT THE FUCK?! Who asked for your religious views, lady? She always does these kinds of things; she judges other religions because she's soooooo God damn Christian & shit. When I first met her, she started talking about how Buddhism is based on worshiping idols. Another day, she talked about how Catholics aren't serious about their religion, and that her friend "flicked" Jesus off the crucifix & they all laughed about it. Like wtf? I'm Catholic, for one, and even though I'm not as religious as I used to be, this lady shouldn't be talking about this stuff in front of me. She knows I'm Catholic too. Having faith in your religion is great, good for you, but to judge and force other people into your religion is another thing. I really wish I could just hand that stupid bible back to her that she gave me. I'm sick of ignorant people. I really can't stand it when people don't have an open mind, but then again, what can I do? People are the way they are.

Well, I did my treadmill time for the day, and watching Dexter helped me relax a little (until that lady started talking her shit). I'm probably gonna go outside & spend time with the retrievers. Bonnie is misbehaving now that she's back home in Palmdale. Little biatch. I seriously wish everyone could meet my dogs. They're really somethin' else.

For the past week, I've been dying in bed due to the fact that my sickness is not going away. I'm so aggravated. I take my medication, I drink a ton of water (which I usually do everyday, even when I'm not sick) and still, I wake up with the most painful sore throat and the need to blow my nose 100x. I always have to blow my nose every 5 minutes, and now it hurts under my nostrils due to all that tissue rubbing. I'm dying! WHY! Usually I get better a lot quicker. I can't function. I can't exercise. I've been wanting to walk Missie & Bonnie together, but instead I've just been dropping Bonnie off at her house & let them play for the day. I try to do some sit-ups and weights, but that's all I pretty much can do. I just feel so weak, and my throat is killing me. So all I've been doing is watching movies or Heroes or Dexter on my laptop while laying in bed all day, trying to get better.

I'm hoping that by tomorrow evening I'll feel a whole lot better. We're going to Knott's Halloween Haunt :] I already know GF & I are gonna be pissin' in our pants, but whatever, it'll be fun. I'm pretty much scared of everything, but I'm excited!

I finally got my school supplies in from ABC. I got some books, a new leash, a new ABC polo, a Kong toy (Bonnie's so happy with it), a harness, and some dog treats. Pretty cool, but now I gotta start studying! The first section is some pretty easy stuff--stuff I already know like the AKC dog breed classifications and their characteristics. Then there's some extra medical information that I need to know, but it should be fairly easy. My first exam is due by October 30th.

Mark gets a 3 week break in a couple weeks, so hopefully during that time we can make a couple trips, like our 2nd trip to Sea World! This time we're gonna swim with either the baluga whales or dolphins..I'm leaning more towards the whale. Idk. I'll figure that out. Then maybe we can take the Beamer somewhere, maybe to Vegas or who knows. I just need a vacation, really.

I'm sad because we're taking Bonnie home to Palmdale this weekend :( I'm gonna miss her so much. It's hard, but I have to let her stay over there, probably until Thanksgiving. I want her to be with her brothers & sisters :] Plus, I gotta give those stinkers a bath.

Well, back to watching more Dexter. Good day everyone.

So TN & I went to go watch Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist. Honestly, the previews made it seem a lot more interesting than it actually turned out to be. Don't get me wrong, I love Michael Cera and Kat Dennings. This movie just didn't click with me, and it surprises me because I'm a huge movie fanatic. I was also fooled by all those good reviews that the movie was given. It was cute, sure, but the story was just missing something. It had a typical ending, and some parts just weren't as funny. The ending wasn't what I expected; I expected more explainations and more twists, but really it just wasn't anything special. So for the movie, I'd rate it a 2.5 out of 5 stars.

I'm pooped. TN and I headed to the mall afterwards, but nothing caught my eye. We had dinner with the boys @ Olive Garden around 8pm, and here I am back home with little miss Bonnie. It's been a rough week. I made some life-changing decisions, and I feel that it's because I'm really unbalanced at the moment. This tends to happen to me every year. I'm gonna miss the life I got so used to, but I need this time to just relax and think everything over. I'll still be making little to survive, but it's not that I plan to spend on anything big. I'll be saving for whatever plans I make in the future. I feel really lost at times, and I know that no one else can really understand me besides 2 people who really take the time to listen when I vent my heart out. Thank God I have friends like that because usually I'd just keep everything bottled in; I haven't been able to state my feelings for a very long time. Even my dad is getting under my skin--butting into my business like it's his role to. I understand that I'm his daughter and that he wants nothing bad to happen to me, but I'm not 16 anymore; let me handle my business. After this phase, I hope I'll be back on my feet again. I'm looking forward to starting my program for school, at least. It's one thing that'll keep me alive. So plan for now is to keep busy by constantly exercising, reading my books, watching movies, visiting family, and basically taking care of myself.

By the way, today is my 2 & a half year anniversary w/ Mark.

Have a good night everyone. <3

Hello :] Well, the weekend was pretty good. Friday seeing Wicked was definitely a highlight. It was ironic because the next day, Lia texted me asking if I wanted to watch Wicked with her and JP. DUH I WILL, shoot, especially at that discounted price..man, I'm there! So we're going to see it on October 29th, Orchestra Left Center Row T. Woot! That's closer than our seats a few nights ago, but I loved our view from Row Z; we got to see everything! But whatever, it'll be fun regardless. I really would love to watch the musicals that are coming out next year. I'm a musicals fan. I just wish Hairspray would come back because it's one of my favorites. But I love Phantom of the Opera, and I think Legally Blonde may be interesting because I love that corny movie. RENT's coming to town, and who doesn't love Grease? That's a classic. I already saw Mamma Mia live so I don't have to watch that. Hm, I'm way too music-affiliated; I already know I won't get to see all of them, but they're coming out with interesting musicals next year!He says I have to really "STUDY" it by watching YouTube videos. What the hell is that gonna do?! I wanna learn now, in person! Haha. Mark's a really bad teacher though; he doesn't have the patience to teach me. But yeah, it's a gorgeous car. It runs verrrry smoothly, and when he takes off, it's so fast! It's fun. And I love the little iPod connector to his radio..that thing is perfect! The sound is really amazing as well. You guys should've seen Mark once he started driving it home. The smile on his face just wouldn't go away. He's a happy boy :] He spent everyday talking about this car, looking for this car online, watching videos. Now he finally has it. But that doesn't mean it's over; now all he's gonna be talking about it...Babe, what kinda rims should I get? How dark should my tint be? BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH. Yup. It's sexy, no?

Seriously. WOW. If you haven't gone to see Wicked the musical, it's a must. It was SUCH an amazing show. Mark enjoyed it afterall! I loved their voices. I started tearing up just listening to them. That's how sensitive I am to extremely talented singers. lol. Lame, I know, but I seriously love imagining how great it feels to show the world your talent on stage especially when it's something you're really passionate about. The whole story line was great; the music was well written & very catchy. Of course, my favorite songs would always involve the hardest-to-reach ranges lol. The musical is definitely an A+ on my list. The only complaint that I had was that I was freezing to death in that theater, haha. That A/C was on BLAST! Lucky for Mark he had a jacket on. But the show definitely made up for that. I have to go again, this time with someone else who hasn't seen it. I really loved the cast too; I wish THEY were the ones on the soundtrack because I really loved their voices and the way they performed it tonight. Amazing amazing amazing. "Steve" from Married With Children is on the cast! haha. And did anyone remember the boy band "No Authority"? Well, I was a huge pop fan back in the day so I did, and Eric from No Authority is also part of the cast. Just felt like sharing that, haha. Well, overall, it was a very good night. Wicked was definitely worth the money.

Also, I just want to say HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY to TN! :]

by Jason Mraz featuring Colbie Caillat

Do you hear me,

I'm talking to you

Across the water across the deep blue ocean

Under the open sky oh my, baby I'm trying

Boy I hear you in my dreams

I feel your whisper across the sea

I keep you with me in my heart

You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend

Lucky to have been where I have been

Lucky to be coming home again

Oooohhhhoohhhhohhooohhooohhooohoooh

They don't know how long it takes

Waiting for a love like this

Every time we say goodbye

I wish we had one more kiss

I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend

Lucky to have been where I have been

Lucky to be coming home again

I'm lucky we're in love in every way

Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed

Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea

To an island where we'll meet

You'll hear the music, fell the air

I'll put a flower in your hair

Though the breezes through trees 

Move so pretty you're all I see

As the world keeps spinning round

You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend

Lucky to have been where I have been

Lucky to be coming home again

I'm lucky we're in love in every way

Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed

Lucky to be coming home someday

Well! I got accepted into Animal Behavior College :] I'm officially enrolled. Yeehaw! And it wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for my sister co-signing with me for the loan. So now I owe her. She claims that I have to give her one of my L.A.M.B. bags..uhhhhh lemme think about it...........NO! Sorry Ate. Love you though :] So yes, I'm officially part of the program & I can't wait to start! I get to teach Bonnie new tricks plater on, and I get to volunteer at a shelter & work with those dogs. :] Anything for dogs! I love 'em; they're my life.

This weekend is going to be fun. Wicked is on Friday night! I'm so excited. I've been waiting for the day to freakin' come already, but time seriously does fly fast. I hope Mark enjoys the show. He should be used to me playing musical soundtracks all the time..from Hairspray to Moulin Rouge to Phantom of the Opera to Across the Universe...I LOVE MUSICALS! And next year Pantages is having Grease & Phantom of the Opera & Legally Blonde. Mm. I need to make plans to see at least one of them. :] Saturday is TN's birthday & we're all having dinner at Park Ave. It should be a fun-filled night as well. :] So I'll be pooped by the time it's all over.

So we're planning Knott's Halloween Haunt. I'm just not sure what date, but I'm excited because I have never been to it. I'm pretty chicken. But I love those types of things; plus I haven't been to Knott's Berry Farm since I was 5. Yay!

I'm reading this book called Puppy Chow is Better Than Prozac. So far, so good. I mean, half the book talks about this guy who became a manic depressive (it's a true story) after his break-up with the only woman he ever got involved with, and I guess if you have the patience to understand where he came from, it's a good book for you. I would know because I remember I was once insanely depressed that I ended up with a psychiatrist. But really, this book explains how getting a dog saved his life entirely..and I can understand that. Dogs are therapy. They seriously give you so much more love than you can imagine :]

I'm going shopping today. I need to find a couple outfits. I haven't shopped in a while because I feel there's no need since I keep shedding off pounds. My pants seriously don't fit me. I can just pull 'em straight off, lol. The shirts and sweaters that I use to let hang in my closet actually fit again. I also feel muscles in my arms! It's crazy. All that weight lifting does have a purpose. I started thinking back on all the times people would give me shit about my weight..not just people I knew, but strangers! One example would be when we went to Victoria Secret once, and I was looking at underwear in the small section because um, yeah, I wear size small. And this old lady (who was an employee) was hovering over me like a hawk, and she then asked me, "Do you need help with anything?" And I said, "No thank you, I'm fine, just looking around." She then had the nerve to say, "Well, you're looking at the small section. The MEDIUM and LARGE sections are right below." And she said that while she was lookin' me up and down, as if to say, YUP YOU'RE FAT LADY..YOU'RE LOOKING IN THE WRONGGGGGGGG SECTION. In my head it was like, Uhhhh..bitch, you did NOT just say that to me. I wanted to just be like, "Do you want me to pull out my underwear right now & show you what fucking SIZE I'm wearing? I was crying to Mark. It really hurt me. It was just hard dealing with it. And all the times that random people would ask me, "Are you pregnant? How long have you been pregnant for?" UGH! Just remembering it all is so sad. But that's exactly why I went through with this diet. It's what pushed me. I'm tired of hearing all those people talk shit to me, disrespecting me when they don't even know me. Well, now I'm almost 30 pounds lighter, who would've thought I was gonna get this far? Back then, I would be too embarrass to share these kinds of stories, but I really don't care anymore. I'm proving everyone else wrong x]

Well, time to eat my salad. Peace out everyone!

Hello, my name is Calee. I may have the same interests as many others, but I'm really different. I don't judge by looks or status. I get along with everybody, but I prefer to just associate with those who are open-minded and can really understand who I am and where I came from. I have a good life living with my boyfriend Mark. He's the best boyfriend ever; he's intelligent, focused, and he takes the best care of me. One thing that everyone knows about me is that I LOVE DOGS. I don't party much or get drunk whatsoever, but that doesn't stop me from having fun. I love food (who doesn't?), and I love sight-seeing, shopping, watching movies, singing, going to amusement parks, or watching shows. These blogs should give you a hint of what life's like: BUSY! Work, school, dogs, Mark, and all that good junk.